


Rakkusagi Cafe

by charachanplz



Category: Bendy and the Ink Machine, Cuphead (Video Game), Felix the Cat (Cartoon), Mickey Mouse and Friends (TV)
Genre: Multiple chapters, also the main character is an anime character, copious amounts of friendship, kind of, or it isn't in the tag library, please, rubberhose, so there's your cringe warning, there's also Bimbo but I guess nobody tagged him yet, this is set in japan, this is supposed to be silly fun so don't take it too seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-02-18 17:04:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13104645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charachanplz/pseuds/charachanplz
Summary: Moesashi Heckberns can't get a job as a background character, due to her exaggerated appearance. She, however, somehow gets a job in a butler cafe, which is honestly a bit better than being a jobless dropout. This is honestly just a way to set up the setting for silly ideas. expect to groan at the stupidity.





	1. Prologue: It's not like I want a job or anything!

Moesashi looked at her rejected application. Great, wonderful! It’s not like she wanted to have a stable job or anything, those were overrated anyways. As she walked down the streets of Tokyo city, she wondered why she was given the good ol’ “Denied” in big, red letters this time. Maybe they made their decision when they saw “Heckberns” written neatly in the Last Name section. Maybe it was her spotty skin; pretty pale and ugly ink blots didn’t clash well, fellow schoolgirls would tell her. Maybe it was the fact that an elegant and ghostly lady decided to fall in love with a gosh darn Rubber-goat-demon-thing from the other side of the world and conceived a mish-mash of poor design choices. Proportioned body ending with big hands, feet, and head, short hair sticking out in big poofy chunks, and the usual high school uniform finished off with thick white gloves and big brown shoes. Who the heck thought this was a good idea? Whatever, she was born like this, and she can’t really change it, no matter how many lost jobs as a background character coerced her to jump into an ink puddle to turn into one or the other.

“‘Don’t stand out so much Miss Heckberns! You’re supposed to blend with the crowd Miss Heckberns!’” she mocked her would-be employer, strutting like a diva and speaking in a high-pitched, whiny voice, finishing with a grunt as she crumbled her failure of an application; “Oh yeah! Lemme just morph my motherlovin’ body structure into your typical anime schoolgirl! I can totally do that! I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR MOE-BLOB GARBAGE, YA %!+$#-!” She flinched at the loud honking noise that came out of her mouth, suddenly feeling the eyes of characters and humans all over her. _Good hecking job, idiot_ she thought to herself, slowly sliding away from the crowd attracted by one of her many cons as a hybrid.

Once away from judgment (and a possible panic attack), Moe sat down in the grimy floor of an alleyway, looking back at the abused piece of paper. What was she supposed to tell her parents? She might as well run off to the countryside to avoid their disappointment. Shima Onsen wasn’t too far away, right? Oh who is she kidding, she’d be spotted from a mile away; it’s hopeless! She got up, dusting away the dirt from her skirt, and began her walk of shame back home, when she was hit in the face by an airborne piece of paper.

“Sonova-” she peeled it away in frustration, but it quickly dissipated when she saw what that it was a help wanted ad: ‘Help Wanted! Need Cashier for Butler Café! Ask for the manager at Rakkusagi Café.”

_…Well, why not?_

It’s an embarrassing job, but it’s a job nonetheless. Besides, she’s not going to be one of the poor bastards who’ll be using an uncomfortable costume for eight hours, so what the heck. Maybe it’ll be fun. Though, she swears she’s heard that combination of words before. Maybe it’s a luck-based café? That’s interesting. Though, Moe hopes she doesn’t have to wear rabbit ears.


	2. Chapter 1: Conquer your Obstacles!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which local hybrid almost dies

With buried hope in her heart and a suppressed pep in her step, Moe made her way to the butler café, and possibly to a new career. She found it right where the ad said it would be, tucked in the sides of two larger buildings. It definitely contrasted with the blue and gray palette of its environment, covered in bright, somewhat childish colors, with a bubbly sign that read its familiar name. Seriously, where did she hear that name before?! Whatever, now’s not the time to be splitting her skull open over cutesy café names. Now is the time to finally be a productive member of society! By… serving Otakus in a forcefully cheery environment.

_Ugh, don’t overthink it now, Moe._

Walking up to the entrance, all while hoping to her creator nobody sees her coming in, she noticed something else odd about the café; the building itself. Oh, it wasn’t because it looked like it was drawn into a photograph of this place, that’s become common since animated characters have existed. It was curvier than the other animated buildings she’s seen, bouncier. If it weren’t for the thicker lines, she would’ve thought the place would fall apart in any second.

_Stop overthinking this, Moe. Maybe the owner is a fan of American cartoons, and built the place inspired by them. See? No need to feel like this is a bad idea. It’s a job, don’t you want a job?_

Sucking up her doubt and dignity, she pushed the door wide open, and stepped inside with as much confidence as she could fake. Once inside, Moe’s eyes blew up in surprise and utter shock, mouth agape at what she was witnessing. The place was populated by small, blob-like, rubbery cartoon animals in butler suits serving sweets to customers big and small. Counting them up to make sure they were just moving around quickly and not multiplying at a rapid rate, she notices one of them was a rabbit, short and stout with a pair of blue shorts on.

_Rakkusagi_

_R-Rakkiusagi?_

_Rakki usagi_

_…_

_Lucky Rabbit!_

_…_

_. . ._

**_HOLY $#!+_ **

“Hey lady! The line’s moving!” Moe was woken up from her insane realization by an impatient customer, and immediately moved out of the way to let the rest of the patrons pass by. No wonder this place looked so cartoony! Wait… what are toons doing in Japan, especially toons from that era? Why are they working in some café, and not in a movie studio or animation studio, or wherever toons work to appear on TV? Would the manager even accept her for the job? She kind of looks like a cartoon, but she also kind of looks like an anime girl, what if 50% is not enough? What if-

_Enough questions! You’ll never know if you don’t ask first!_

Right! She’s here for a job, not to study the movement and behavior of cartoons like some kind of Biologist, or a creepy stalker. She walks up to the side of the counter, and tries to get the attention of the cashier.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” she began, “could you- oh my god”

“Yes?” replied the cartoon woman, sliding cards and giving out receipts to the rhythm of some unheard tune. When Moe simply blabbered, she repeated, more curtly; “Yes? Miss, please speak up, I can't unnerstand you”

“You’re Betty. Betty Boop,” The hybrid finally blurted out, surprised to see the cartoon icon here. Why is she surprised again?

“That's my name, doan wear it out. Now please, if you're here tuh orduh somethin', get in line wit' de rest”

“Sorry! I’m here for the job… actually? I wanted to talk with the manager-”

“Yuh are?” Betty briefly stopped her rhythmic movements to look directly at Moe, lighting up like a Christmas tree. “Oh thank goodness! Just go straight tuh de back, and knock on de doawh tuh your right, that's his office.” She pointed to the very back of the building, where a door with a big red sign reading “Employees only!” hung from a bent nail. Moe could go there easily, but there was one problem: the fast moving toons. They zipped all across the dining area with enough speed to knock down someone three times their size, and the teenage girl was but a foot taller than them, so she wasn’t looking forward to that. Still, nobody said that getting a job was easy; you had to take risks, and overcome obstacles, even if nobody mentioned breaking your bones being one of the risks, or that speedy little blobs would be an obstacle. She took a deep breath, and puffed up her chest to seem brave.

“Got it, thanks miss,” said Moe, giving the toon a thumbs up as she sped towards the booby-trapped door

“You’re welcome. Good luck dearie!” Betty chirped, waving at her and going back to her own work. Moe jumped, dodged, and just barely missed the waiters, keeping her eyes on the prize. She mentally panicked at every close call, and tried her best to manage both her apologies to the death balls of ink and her coordination. She knew, if she tripped, she would immediately turn into a sitting duck. Or even worse, a tripping hazard.

“Watch it!”   
“Sorry!”

“Outta the way!”  
“I’m trying!”

“’Scuse me, miss!”   
“You’re excused!”

Before she knew it, she was right at the door, and with a squealed “yes!” she opened the door, not noticing that one of them was about to zoom past her, and instead was knocked back by the door, sending the mirror cake he was carrying flying. Moe gasped, “I’m so sorry-”

“The cake!” the sharply dressed toon yelped, ignoring Moe’s attempts to apologize. This caught the attention of a second toon, and he began backing up, empty tray up to catch the pastry.

“I got it!” He bellowed, and backed himself to one of the tables, lifting the tray up higher. With a clang, the cake plopped right in the middle, stacking itself in layers, then in frosting, and then in decorations, as neat as it was before it went soaring. The patrons clapped at the little “show” as Moe took the moment to slide inside the restricted area, hoping the toon she door smacked wasn’t too mad at her.

_Good thing they’re gag-proof._

With a relieved sigh, she continued on down the hallway, reaching the fabled door towards the manager. I can do this she thought, trying to shake away her nerves from that first encounter with her possible co-workers, and from the anxiety of meeting her possible employer. She opened the door, and gasped from the sight of the manager, sitting comfortably on his big office chair, in a well-lit and cozy office.

_You’ve got to be pulling my leg._

“Good afternoon, Miss! Are you here for the job?” squeaked Mickey, smiling warmly at the hybrid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! As you can see, Chapters will be double in length of the prologue. this is also where the weekly updates will begin. Hope you got a laugh out of it!


	3. Chapter 2: Is This Real Life? Is This just Fantasy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hybrid has no clue how or why, even when Mickey's pretty darn clear about it

“This is unreal. I’m no longer bound to reality.”

Granted, she should’ve seen it coming, but this was still wild! Forget her last questions, what is HE doing here, managing a butler cafe? Did being the embodiment of both good will and extreme corporate power bore him? Has he finally bought the maid cafe industry?

“Well, you gotta come back to reality pal, because we have an interview to do!” Mickey chipped in with a laugh. “Please sit down, this will only take a few minutes.” 

Moe obliged, sitting down on the cushioned chair.  _ Ok, don’t panic,  _ She reassured to herself,  _ What if some corporate super power is sitting in front of you? Right now, the mouse ain’t that. He’s the manager of a cafe here. Another role of his! Just be professional, and treat him like you would treat any other employer… without the screaming. Leave that part out. _ Snapping out of her “pep talk” mode, she looks back at Mickey. “Ok, I’m ready, sir”

“Great!” He chirped, taking out a comically large clipboard and pencil. “Alrighty then, could I have your resume?”

_ OH DAMMIT! _

“A-a resume?” Moe gulped, “W-well, you see… Iii kinda came here empty-handed, pretty much just saw the ad and… arrived.”

Mickey blinked, his smile faltering to something more neutral. Nervous, the hybrid stopped him from taking a note on how unprepared she was (at least, that’s what she thought he was doing) with a stuttered comeback: “bu-but! Buuuut, I do have this application,” she took out the paper ball, placed it on the desk, and began trying to uncrumple it as best as she could, all while Mr. Mouse watched with… oh dang, now she couldn’t tell; “Uh, please… please ignore that it’s all crumply and not… professional… looking.”

He nodded slowly, and slid the paper towards himself, first thing catching his attention is the big red “DENIED” smack dab in the middle of the application.

“Ignore that too. My uh, my info’s still there…” Moe added. Oh she was dead, this job’s a bust too! Still in uniform, brought nothing but a denied application, and pretty much begging him to look past literal red flags to not hire her. She’s not good enough for anything, is she?! Might as well be one of those Desktop Waifus for a crowd of American otakus to see! Would she even be accepted as that?!

“Moesashi Heckberns…” she heard Mickey read out loud, “Miss Heckberns, you’ve studied in Tezuka High School, dropped out during your second year, and since then have been… accepting jobs? Could you explain that to me?”

She perked up at this prompt, this could be her chance! “Of course sir!” Moe immediately straightened up in her seat, “Since I was born from two characters instead of, y’know, being created and all, I never had the opportunity to be in a show. Since I’ve been young, I’ve always thought that those series were the absolute best,” she smiled as she imagined a little girl with wild pig tails lying down on the floor, watching tv with big, sparkly eyes, “even the tamest ones, like those high school slice-of-life animes, looked super fun to me, with those characters hanging out with their friends in different locations, getting into hijinks, coming up with crazy ideas… I wanted a life like that. So when I reached the age where I could be part of one, I dropped out, and began looking for a job ever since! It’s not easy, to be honest, but if it means fulfilling my dream, then I won’t stop until I at least get a part as a background character. It’s best to start at the bottom, right?”

“Ah, right!” He agreed. “So, any job experience?” 

“ Uuuuum… I’ve ah… I’ve applied for lots of places.” Moe attempted to save face, but based on Mickey's confused face, it didn’t work

“…”

There we go, this is where he’ll try to be nice, and tell her that she did good, but that she’s not ready for the job, because she couldn’t even prepare for a simple interview. She stood up, not wanting to waste any more of his time, and muttered an apology. That’s when all of this madness began.

“Sit down Miss Heckberns, I’m not done with this” Mickey said curtly, not taking his eyes off her, not even for a second. She promptly sat down, and he continued; “You’ve come to my office for a job, and yet you have nothing to show that you are capable of working; a denied application, unprofessional attire, and an attitude of absolutely no confidence!”

Jeez, Mickey Mouse had a sharp tongue. You would think Disney’s mascot would be a bit friendlier…

as her shoulders slumped, he finally finished his thought: “But nobody else came, and we’re desperate for more help, so you’re hired!” Micks stood up, shook her hand, and left his position behind the desk, leaving Moe in a state of mental panic.

_ HOW!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??! _

How the heck did she even manage to do this!?

“W-wait! Are you sure about thi-” she was cut off by her employer’s instructions:

“Your pay will be 800 yen an hour, we’ll provide you with an uniform, stay after closing hours so you can meet the rest, and you’re good to go for tomorrow! Ah, you know how to use a cash register?”

“I’ve gotten 77s in my math classes, but-”

“Ok, not bad, then for the remaining hour you’ll be job shadowing our cashier, watch what she does, ask her a few questions.”

“Wait! Why would you let me do this? Like you said, I have no job experience in this.”

Mickey sighed, but straightened up, and spoke as gently as possible; “That’s right, you don’t. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t learn! And where else could there be a better teaching environment than in the workforce?”

Moe thought, and finally allowed that buried hope to seep out a bit. Maybe she could do this? She asks to confirm it; “are you sure?”

“As sure as I am sure that I have four fingers! You wanted a job? You got a job! Heck, it might help you get that gig you wanted, you probably need to work on that resume of yours anyways. Aha!” He noticed her doubt, and added, “Hey, like you said: ‘It’s best to start at the bottom’. And if I learned anything about this culture, this type of job is pretty low for a teenage girl.” He opened the door, signaling her to follow him outside.

“Wait, one more thing.” Mickey turned back to Moe, seemingly filled with more confidence in herself. Or maybe she was practicing her questioning skills. “Do you think that it’s appropriate for me to be in front of the entrance?” 

Well, she needs the practice. “You don’t own a mirror, do you, Miss Heckberns?” He asked, and left the room, Moe quickly following behind with a sour expression on her face.  _ Yeah I own a mirror, you @&$%, don’t need to remind me- oh wait, you actually did need to… STILL! _

Mickey took her back towards Betty, who pepped up and waved at the insulted teen. “Ah, looks like you two already met,” laughed Mickey, “Betty, this is Moesashi Heckberns, our newest cashier. She’ll be staying with you for the rest of the shift, so help her learn the ropes. Here, take notes Miss Heckberns. Good luck!” He handed Moe a clipboard with a pen, and went back. 

She really couldn’t believe this.

“Yuh got it, boss!” Called out the cartoon flapper, and turned to Moe with a spin; “Alright den dearie, keep an eye on my hands.” The girls moved back to the cash register, and Betty once again began her little cashing dance, singing her ‘Thank yous!” to the beat of every second hip swing. The hybrid watched her every move, taking note on which hand went where, which button did what, and… uh, the rhythm of her hips. Did Moe have to dance around like that too?

“Miss Boop, is it a requirement to, ah, bounce to the beat of some omnipresent song that’s muted to the ears of the common folk? Do I have to learn how to… reach… cartoon nirvan-” Moe slowed to a stop as she realized that the uniformed toon was giggling at her. Seriously, do toons just find these type of questions THAT funny? Maybe she should’ve gotten a job as a comedian, then.

“No no!” Betty shook her head, never losing track of her groove, “Dis is just how toons move most of de time. Ya' dig? Need me tuh stay still fawh a while, pumpkin?” Really? It’s just a toon tic? Huh… guess that makes sense. They look like they’re made of rubber, so it would be less illogical if they just stood in one place, stiff as a log. This is gonna be interesting

“Oh! You don’t have to, but thank you for asking!”

“Alright den. Yuh got me so fahr?” Moe nodded, and Betty moved her concentration back to the machine. “Sawhry if I'm bein' rude, but it's quite a shock dat yuh doan bounce dat much. Doan like it, or what?”

“It’s not that I don’t like it!” Moe quickly clarified, not wanting to offend her new friend(?), “I just don’t ever do it. Mean kids and weird looks and… Ok, I maybe find it a bit embarrassing”

Betty hummed, nodding with an understanding of Moe’s situation. “I see. Well, doan feel shame if yuh wanna bounce around a bit here, ok? Try tuh have fun here, love.”

“Gotcha.” still, Moe ended up staring at her own gloved hands when she meant to continue on taking notes. Should she do it? It’s still kind of a weird tic, and she hasn’t done it since she was six. Ugh, she still remembers her first day of school, kids were trying to make her stop bouncing, eventually resolving to pulling her hair and grabbing her legs. She can still feel THAT headache. Maybe it’s best for her to stick to other ways of letting out energy.


	4. Chapter 3: Tiny Little Things, and what they do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Moe learns more, and Bimbo possibly bumps the rating up one

Moe felt funny during her ride back home. She wasn’t sure whether or not it was the bumps on the road that made the bus and, by extension, her bounce up and down. The roads _were_ sort of bumpy, sure, but what made her wonder was her own tingly feelings. She felt like her bones were turning into jello, and that she was losing the solidity in her muscles, something she’s worked hard to maintain.

However, it wasn’t a nasty feeling, not at all! It felt more like she wanted to grin wide for the world to see, and bounce up and down in unconstrained excitement. But… why? All she did was get hired, and meet up with her co-workers.

Hmm.

Her co-workers. Her employer.

She still has their faces fresh in her mind, projected into her imagination as clear as day.

“Alright! Now that’s done, How bout we introduce you to your co-workers?” She remembers the mouse call out once the work day was over, smiling brightly.

_Man, that face must be as manufactured as the parks themselves, and STILL it radiates with hopes and dreams. It’s phony, and I still feel all hopeful and bubbly when I see it, like he’s casting some sort of “feel-good” spell! How does he do that???_

Oh who knows. Still, it is a bit unnerving, compared to his employees. They had the same air of cheeriness all over them, but it wasn’t full-on “wish upon a star” material. That… actually made her even MORE hopeful, somehow.

On total, Mickey had nine toons working for him, no two being exactly the same, which was a surprise for her, considering she was 90% sure most of them were altered copies of… one of them. She doesn’t remember.

What she does remember, after some intense note taking, is who each of them were; butlers, cashier, and bakers.

Moe opened the notebook to distract herself from the bouncy feeling, reading over what she wrote for each of them, marked by very quick doodles of their round little faces.

**Oswald: (Mickey’s) Big little brother, Don’t be off-put. He’s a big sap.**

Haha, he was a pretty interesting guy. While at first his friendliness was obvious through that smile of his, seeing him loose patience over Mickey’s unstoppable gushing, on record time no less, was a surprisingly funny sight, doubled so by how sour his expression got from hearing the word “little”. Moe could barely contain her snort at the punch to respectable Mr. Mouse’s arm. _Alright, don’t say little, and he’ll maybe tolerate you_ she had thought to herself, keeping her mouth shut while he glared, forced a smile, and quickly waved at her. He looked like a fun fella.

**Felix: Help him stay on task, he’s kinda sleepy most of the time. Be patient with him.**

She had stared at the cat for the entirety of Mickey’s ramble, her writing on auto-pilot. As in, she only wrote what her brain had actually processed from this three-minute introduction. Well, duh, no wonder he’s tired, he’s like 100 years old! Isn’t this guy like the grandpappy of cartoons? Moe wondered if Felix should be in a home for old toons, and if toons even had places like that. But eh, she was sure his sleepiness wasn’t going to be TOO bad. Well, his stare came off as less “sleepy” and more “spaced-out”. Maybe he’s just on some kind of high? _Heck, if I saw the crazy $#!+ he saw for a good chunk of my life, I would find anything not created by some kind of hallucination boring as well._ However, when he did finally come out of his bubble, he was nothing but homely. Even his falsetto “hello!” And slow wave had the same nice comfort of a housecat. She liked it. Who wouldn’t like an old, comfortable housecat?

**Bimbo: He’s a bit abrasive, but you’ll get used to it. Don’t encourage him to make jokes in public.**

Oh, how much she regretted asking why. For being a cute little pug guy, he did NOT have a filter for his words. Exhibit A: Mickey had positioned himself once more, this time beside the pudgy dog, and began his introduction. Somewhere in there, he muttered something about WHY he shouldn’t be allowed to make jokes during work hours; something Moe had missed while taking notes, but Bimbo apparently heard loud and clear. He had quickly come back to the mouse’s comment with a, she’s not joking,

“$#!+ Mickey, don’t be such a limp ?!€%.”

Moe had frozen right there, Mickey flinched at the loud honks, and everyone else had looked away, possibly out of feigned embarrassment. Mickey groaned in disappointment: “see what I mean?” _Well, looks like this just went up one TV rating. I should try being this gutsy. No wait, bad idea, he would have been kicked to the curve if it weren’t for the fact that this place is suffering from a lack of employees._ Even so, Moe thought he was friendly enough, considering the firm handshake and sheepish apology she had received.Aight then.

**Cuphead and Mugman: Easy to get along with… don’t let them out of your sight, you might lose something if you do.**

She had absolutely no clue why she should, these two boys looked like they were the sweetest little things to grace the Earth! Who doesn’t like a character with boyish charms? _Wait, should I be calling him boys, considering they’re technically way older than I am? Should’ve asked them._ But tomorrow, she’ll do it tomorrow. Even then, she was more than happy to meet these two little mugs. They greeted her excitedly, and did most of the introductions, leaving Mickey stuttering in between each new fun fact they revealed about themselves. From what she gathered from the rapid-fire talking, Cuphead and Mugman were brothers, Mugs being the bubbly but more mature older brother, and Cups being the brash and energetic little brother. Why was Mickey warning her about these little sweeties again? … Oh, now she remembered.

They tried stealing her wallet.

It was a joke, surely, but she wasn’t going to take any chances again. She’ll be watching, you adorable little-

 **Bendy: Be careful.** **Don’t encourage him to come in contact with you or the customers**

Ok, she was SURE he was just being downright cruel. Why the heck couldn’t he touch others?! And it wasn’t some sort of respext policy, no! He went to shake her hand, probably the most excited one to do so, and Mickey slapped his hand away whilst shrieking “NO!”. The poor thing looked disappointed, but had simply backed away, muttering an apology. It didn’t sit well with her, seeing that cheerful little demon thing frown. Moe had decided, screw Mickey, she’s gonna be as friendly as possible with this Bendy fella, starting with a quick pat in the head.

Not just him, all of them.

She liked them! She liked the waiters in their cute little butler attire, she liked Betty and her sweet attitude, she even liked the bakers, who were busy cleaning up the kitchen; a bouncy, peppy mouse lady, and a more mature and motherly cat lady. She had smiled towards them, and introduced herself, but they simply smiled back and waved, going directly back to work.

“Need help?” She had asked, watching as they lifted some heavy looking machinery into a high shelf. They had simply shook their heads, the cat lady politely telling her “oh no dearie, thank you anyways!”

“Oh!” Her employer had peeked in, “Looks like you’ve taken the initiative to meet our chefs, Minnie and Ortensia! Good Job! Taken any interesting notes?”

“U-uhhh” she had blubbered, looking at her notebook

**Bakers: Adorably pink and strong.**

“Y-yep!”

“Well done!”

Of course, they’ve noticed her little fib on record time, and began giggling.

“Ah yes, pink and strong,” Ortensia commented with light-hearted sarcasm, “VERY insightful”

“I’ll fix it!” And fix Moe did, furiously scribbling down some newer notes.

She looked at her notebook, smiling a bit at the filled page, including:

**Minnie: Super sweet, radiates bounciness. More notes (and observation) needed.**

**Ortensia: Calmer, mature, could possibly be the mom friend. A bit sarcastic, no worries.**

**Betty: A big puppy, 100% huggable. Still tired, don’t test it.**

**Mickey: Crazy, maybe. Just bow down to your new overlord. Still nice(?).**

She was proud of herself, and it’s not just because of the notes!

Ok, they were pretty cute and organized, but that’s beside the point.

She actually did it, she got a job! She’s employed, and gonna be receiving money for it! She finally broke away from unemployment!

She then remembered, oh shoot! It’s gotten late! She took out her phone, and texted her father, slowly bouncing in her seat

**“Sorry for getting home late, I’ll be right there. In fact, I have some news coming with me!”**


	5. Chapter 4: Snip Snap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Moe regrets  
> also, since I missed last week's deadline, I said screw it and decided to post 2 new chapters for this week  
> still one day late, but eh.

“AIEEEEEEEEEEEE”

“Stop running! You're making measuring tougha!”

My God, only the first day, and this place already feels like a circus

Moe has heard of being measured for new clothing, who hasn’t? Heck, she’s had to go through with the process a billion times before. However, as far as she remembers, being measured did NOT involve being snapped at and constricted to death by a living roll of measuring tape, all while being chased by a humanoid toon, who’s holding at her like a rodeo champion, and a toon cat, who was leisurely following behind with a bright yellow bag in his tail, and a notebook-pencil duo in his hands.

“Chest is 40 inches!”

“Got it.” Felix scribbled down.

“YEOUCH!” The darn thing bit her upper arm, surprisingly strongly for a paper thin little roll.

“Torso is about 14 inches long.”

“Noted.” Scribbled.

“EEK!” _Somebody control this damn snapper!_

“And ha waist is... 15 inches? Wh-” Moe attempted to say something, as the measuring tape constricted her like a balloon, only managing to squeak out rapid fire “Too tight!”

“Right-O, 15 in-”

“Ugh, scratch that toots, this lil' fella's just being mean. You quit that, she's just fine!” The snake-like thing begrudgingly loosened his grip on the poor hybrid, letting her take a breath. Moe mentally thanked every single deity in the multiverse for saving her lungs.

“How rude,” Betty rolled her eyes, adjusting the tape. “There we go, 36 inches.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Fel, are you SURE you don't auwn a human's tape? This aune's giving me a hard time.” Betty huffed, holding the wriggling beast in both hands. Moe took this moment to slowly slide away from the menacing measurer.

The feline looked back into his bag, and shook his head; “Only object toons.” He muttered with the snap of his closing bag. “You know hammerspaces can’t make human things.”

“Well, that's a dumb rule. Who says we can't pull auut man-made tools?” The taller toon complained, rolling up the measuring tape for storage keeping. Felix shrugged, his expression not as visibly upset as hers; “Whoever was sadistic enough to create us?”

“No upsetting jokes about God, we gotta finish this. And please try to speed up, we're this close to... Losing…” As Betty turned her head, she realized the group has lost one surprisingly sneaky member. They’ve lost Miss Heckberns.

Felix starred in her direction, only having one word to whisper: “Whoopsie.”

“Ah shoot!” Betty blurted, yoinking the notebook away from her sidekick, reading quickly through the measurements. “We have enough!” She sighed, and shoved the notebook inside the brightly colored bag. “Alright darl, forget what I said, upsy daisy!” and with one fell swoop, she had Felix in her arms and was sprinting the same direction Moe went in record time.

Moe rested, glad to no longer be in the hands of snake-tamer Betty Boop. She combed her bangs back while deciding what to do next. She’s definitely regretting multiple decisions, like concluding that Betty was a harmless sweetie, or that Felix would help her out of this pickle, but no. Are toons always this lacking of empathy? Owie, the snake bites weren’t getting any better though…

That’s when she heard it, the clack clack clack of High Heels. But they were going faster than what she was used her. Wait, were they

Running?

tap tap tap tap tap TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP **TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP-**

**_#%$@!!!_ **

Moe booked it with fervor, but to no avail, they were already dangerously close! She ran in vain, hoping to escape the angered toon and her unamused cat hot on her trail. Betty shifted a curled up Felix to one of her arms, and he opened his bag.

“Ready?”

“Ready when you’re ready!”

Betty switched to her side, beginning her skid to a stop, and pulls back her throwing arm. Pointing directly at the running Moe.

“It’s time to be fitted, Miss Heckberns” was the final chirp Moe heard, before chaos came, and a living furball was hurled at her.

…

The toons swept, polished, and arranged the café, readying for the dozens of customers who were gonna muck it up once again. ‘Tis how the cycle goes, I guess. However, some weren’t that thrilled about the fact that three of them were practically slacking off, one of them being their mish-mashed newbie.

“Mick, are you SURE you told her bout last minute clean-up?” Oswald accused, stopping his wiping to look at the mouse. Mickey didn’t noticed his brother’s frustrated stare, and instead looked down at his own broom, tapping the top thoughtfully.

“I believe so? Gosh, I’m sure I gave her all the steps! Come in early, get your uniform from Betty, help us do some last minute clean-up, get ready to start the day, have a GREAT first day on the job, get new experiences and become a little more attached to this place, and then go back home happy and with a sense of fulfillment! Yep, pretty sure she got it all!” He finally looked up, more than a little too proud about his oddly specific work schedule.

The rabbit stared with perplexity, blinking it away to get back in track; “Alright, ok, I trust you in that, you’re confident in your memory, I can respect that... for the most part. Still, I think the newbie’s tryin to skip a couple of those steps there. It’s almost time to open, and those three aren’t back!”

“Oh shush,” Mick waved dismissively, “You’ve been doing well on bettering your trust. Give her some slack, you know the fitting process takes a bit of time.”

“Well, duh.” Bimbo peeked out of the kitchen door, cloth in hand. Like hell was he gonna miss an opportunity to call out the boss for a poor decision. “Course it takes five thousand years to measure and dress, you assigned the duty to Slacker McGee and Lil Miss Softie. Felix is probably going at snail’s pace writing each decimal, and Betty’s gonna have to choose between holding the measuring tape and that lazy bastard.” Mickey turned to the crude toon with the cheeky grin, sending him a quick “warning stare”.

“One, clean up your act before going out there,” he began harshly and with a quick finger wag, softening up once Bimbo got the point across with a nod, “and Two, have more hope on your co-workers, they know what they’re doing. Look, Before you know it, they’ll be rolling into this room right about-“ He heard Moe’s scream of terror, and smiled. “Now!”  
And with that, Felix literally rolled into the dining area, struggling with his bouncing, convulsing bag.

“Is she ready?” Mickey asked nonchalantly, While Felix forced the black and white arm back into his bag. The cat huffed with annoyance, forcefully closing it. “Ah, give it a bit.”

“Well hurry it up, cuz we’ve got five minutes!” Bimbo yelled out once more.

“Ah, shuddup, it’s almost done! Uh, back up a bit Mickey, this one’s gonna be a shooter”

The toons took this warning by heart, and backed off as far as they could, already used to what was about to happen. And boy oh boy was it gonna be wild. Felix waited some more, listening to the struggling toon inside the bag of tricks. With a count of one, two, and three, he opened it wide, sending Moe flying up into the ceiling with a “BANG!” She came back down, looking like a million bucks. However, she couldn’t say she felt the same way. Her head hurts, her legs were shaking furiously, and she felt like she just looked into the seven rings of hell.

“Welcome back!” Said Mickey cheerfully.

“Where the ever-loving $@&% was I?!” Moe suddenly blurted out, ignoring the mouse and looking at her feline captor. He simply smiled.

“My bag!”

“That was not a goddamn bag, that was the void.”

“Yeah, I know. Absolutely wonderful napping spot!”

“Mr. Mouse,” she turned, “Excuse me for asking, but is it entirely normal for toons to TRY AND SHOVE YOU INTO A POCKET ABYSS?!”

Silence. Moe stared expectantly, hoping that those blank looks didn’t mean what she thought they meant. _Oh dear god, do they find THAT a stupid question?!_ Before she could argue, the silence was broken with muffled giggles. Mickey covered his mouth, trying his damndest to control his bouncing shoulders.

“Sorry! Sorry, that was pretty mean of me!” He breathed out, chuckles mixing in with his apology. Moe’s jaw dropped.

“What?”

“It’s a thing!” Cuphead explained, “we do try to kill each other often! Kinda of a staple here, actually!”

“... WHAT?!”

The hybrid couldn’t believe this. What?! Why are you all so cheerful about this????? Stop giggling! She didn’t know!!!

She feels someone lightly tag at her skirt, looking down. Bendy smiled wide, still in a giddy mood from her apparently hilarious question. “It’s a toon thing, ya git used ta it, darlin. We did!”

She… didn’t want to argue with it anymore. She’s already exhausted beyond belief. She simply nodded towards the demon

“Alright, it’s time to open soon fellahs! Go get ready” the mouse ordered, and they left towards the lockers in the back. Moe sighed, and placed herself behind the counter, fiddling with the cash register’s buttons to get an early warm-up. Her little practice, however, didn’t distract her from noticing Betty’s presence right beside her. She tensed up.

“Ah, Miss Heckberns” The humanoid began with a whisper, fiddling with her fingers “Can we chat fawh a minute?”

Moe felt her awkwardness. Oh boy, that tone. She didn’t dare to look at her, so instead she muttered a quick “sure.”

Betty sighed in relief, and continued: “Oh thank goodness. I should apologize fawh bein' impatient wit' yuh, yuh didn’t really know what was goin' on. In fact, I tink neithuh of us did. Not used tuh it, really.”

Moe didn’t move, thinking about it. She probably has a point, the teenager had no clue fitting meant assault by animated inanimate objects, and the flapper had no clue that she would be so hysterical about it. Wait, would she?

“It’s… all good. Part of the act, right? Just don’t chuck cats at me ever again.”

Betty smiled, saluting with her chest puffed up bigger than it should, giving an impression of a muscular, military body; “Yes, Ma’am! It won’t happen again!”

Moe chuckled, and straightened up. That sure was a trip, and she definitely regrets many things, but she doesn’t think that a visit to black inky hell is gonna make her call it quits. They’ve said it themselves, toons are about violent humor. She can’t be soft like that! She just needs to get used to it.

They opened the doors, and business was in. Aside from the fitting accident, and a few odd-ball patrons, and one crazy chase sequence, Moe’s first day was nice, if a bit mundane.


	6. Chapter 5: Hug the Bean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Moe regrets some more

**Mickey: “Petting Zoo Day?”**

Moe shook her head at the phone, smirking at the ridiculous idea. It’s been a week since she began working at the café, and so far, it was a pretty smooth trip. Sure, there were times where someone made an impossible acrobatic trick to reach the highest shelf for a few cute plates, or that something crashed with a satisfying BANG! because of that impossible acrobatic, but no one was hurt, and the patrons seemed to eat it right up, along with their expensive delicacies and tea. However, she had to join a group chat, since Mickey wanted to have communication with all of his employees for anything important, and this seemed like the best way to keep everyone updated, without the necessity of a conference room. At first she thought it was ridiculous, considering these little gremlin men are from a century ago, where texting wasn’t even a thought on anyone’s mind, but they were pretty quick with their fingers. Practice?

**Oswald: “Wait, for the event thing? You’re joking”**

**Bimbo: “What do you take us for? Animals?????”**

**Mugman: “I beg to differ”**

**Mickey: “No smart comments! C’mon, it’ll be fun, you didn’t even let me explain it”**

**Betty: “Well, then please do!”**

Moe was curious as well! How would that work, by dressing up like farm animals? She had a onesie around her room that she could use-

**Mickey: “Think of it like a casual friday. We all dress up in comfortable clothes, and let patrons be all cuddly and huggy with us. Since we went crazy with our last event, I think this will be a nice and cheap change of pace.”**

Huh, casual friday with a hint of snuggling patrons. If this was before she had been hired, she would’ve been SO against being hugged by weird guys with weird tastes in “waifus”. But, in reality, most of the clients were either young women, children, and the occasional western cartoon enthusiast. 

Oh, and this one creeper who always sits next to a window. 

So heck yeah, bring in the hugs! She’s huggable, she’s probably the most huggable person she’s ever met!

**Moesashi: “Sounds fun, I’m in!”**

**Mickey: “Alrighty! Anyone else?”**

**Bimbo: “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh?”**

**Betty: “Of course!”**

**Bimbo: “Yes”**

**Felix: “You had me at casual friday”**

**Minnie: “Of course!”**

**Oswald: “eh, I don’t know…”**

**Ortensia: “It’s all in good fun, hunny. Plus, it’s cute when you’re all happy and cheery around children”**

The hybrid giggled, imagining the usually annoyed rabbit hugging an entire classroom of kiddies. Wonder how much she could bribe him to go to a playground for just that…

**Moesashi: “Aww, you are a softie!”**

**Oswald: “Watch it, newbie! Yeah sure write me down too, Mick”**

**Mickey: “You were written down way before you verbally accepted, pal. :)”**

**Oswald: “meet me at the parking lot, I’m kicking your @$$”**

Haha! How the heck did they even do that? Do their fingers force them to write down a censored version?

Man, with all of these questions pilling up, she should really write them down and just ask them.

**Cups: “does this mean that I don’t have to wear the stuffy suit that day?”**

**Mickey: “... Yes, Cuphead, you don’t have to wear a suit.”**

**Cups: “HECK YEAH PETTING ZOO DAY!”**

**Mugs: “Lol. Yeah write me down too”**

Moe smiled wide, this was going to be fun!

**Moesashi: “What about you Bendy? Ready for all that attention?”**

No answer.

**Moesashi: “Bendy? Bean boy?”**

**Mick: “I don’t think it’ll matter in the long run.”**

Huh?

**Moesashi: “Why? Isn’t this like a group project or something?”**

**Mickey: “He isn’t allowed to touch patrons, so he usually doesn’t participate in events like this one”**

What? She thought that weird handshake event was a one time thing! Mickey couldn’t be serious about this. Time to ask the rat about this injustice:

**Moesashi: “why??? Are you anti-demon or something??? Demonist???”**

Immediately, another message popped up:

**Cuphead: “Mo, PM”**

NOW she was confused. Still, she complied

**Moe: “What is it?”**

**Cups: “Dooooooont fight him on this, Bendy is a cuddle bean, but you gotta be like a pro at casual snuggling to actually get near him. It gets messy REALLY quickly”**

**Moe: “Nooo, that’s bs. He deserves a nice casual friday too, you all do”**

**Cups: “Aw. You’re a lump of mush. If you can convince mick that bendy can hug people without melting into them like ice cream, then get to work!”**

Oh, she will DEFINITELY do just that. She needed to work on those persuasion skills sooner or later, anyways. Going back to the group chat, she got up, and began diving into her closet for something. 

**Moesashi: “Mick, let the bean boy participate”**

**Mickey: “Who???”**

**Mickey: “Wait, Bendy? I’m sorry, but it’s an agreement we made.”**

**Moesashi: “You’re scared that he’ll melt, right? Don’t wanna lose a buddy, right?”**

**Mickey: “It’s not exactly that.”**

**Felix: “It’s about his fear of demons. He’s scared of them, especially his inner ones”**

**Mickey: “It has nothing to do about that!!! Yes, it’s kind of because of that”**

No, no, it’s not any of that… She knew she had left it in there somewhere… Aha!

**Moesashi: “then I think I know what you need!”**

…

“Is… is that a poncho?”

It was now friday morning, and Mickey was starring at the frilled piece of clothing, carefully turning it around in his hands

“Yep!” Moe confirmed, “And a pretty thick one too! I haven’t worn this since I was eight or nine, but I think it will fit him!”

The mouse was finicky with it, thinking about what this could mean. Lets see, if this is a thick material on the poncho, and it has a big hood, if Bendy were to hug someone…

“If Bendy were to hug someone, the material would work like a shield, so it gives him more time to separate before he starts sticking! Golly, great thinking! But ah, how are we sure that it’ll work?”

Bendy slammed the door open, heaving like an untrained marathon runner. Who knows whether or not his sweat is from exhaustion or anxiety. “Ah’m sorry fer bein late! Somethin came up, it took forevah ta take care of, and- is that a poncho?”

Moe grinned wide, looking at Mickey and wagging her eyebrows, mouthing the words ‘watch closely’

“Yes!” She took the poncho, walking towards him with a bit of a skip, “In fact, this is for you, Bendy!”

“Wh-” He didn’t get to finish, because the teen was already carefully clothing him with it, pulling up the bear-eared hood. This, plus the soft pastel colors and his confused face made him look adorable, Moe believed. 

“It’s so you can participate today! I know you want toooooo~”

Bendy looked at his boss to make sure she wasn’t pulling his leg, to which Mickey nodded hesitantly.

“Oh, thank you!!!” He yelled, hugging Moe with loud, happy cackles. Moe happily hugged him back, feeling as his form slowly began to feel more putty-like. He had noticed as well, and pulled back, much to Mickey’s surprise and relief. “Ya really did me a favah there, miss! Ah owe ya one” 

“I’ll keep that in mind when I need a roller coaster, hehe!” And with Moe’s response, Bendy grinned, and went outside. Moe turned to a calmer mouse, showing him her spotless uniform “Tadah! Not a speck in sight. Seriously, why haven’t you thought of this before?”

Mickey smiled, lightly hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand; “Hehe, guess that my worried ol’ brain didn’t think past wool and cotton for shielding fabrics.” He patted her back, slowly moving her towards outside the office. “Now get back there, and enjoy your friday!”

“Will do sir!” She gave him a thumbs up, and walked off to her position.

…

This day was possibly the best one yet! Seeing everybody enjoying themselves, draped in sizes-too-large hoodies and t-shirts, and hugging their patrons with enthusiasm, made her more than happy that she agreed to this idea. Heck, she was ecstatic that ALL of them could enjoy the affection of fans and children alike, without the need to worry about whether or not they will end up glued to said fan. Speaking of which, when the counter was fairly free from any new customers, her eyes wandered around the café, trying to find her friend. She finally found him, grinning like a maniac for a picture between him and two schoolgirl characters. He was doing wonderfully! Not a single complaint about sticky arms, and not a single drop of ink on the floor. Bendy practically skipped swiftly to every table he went, smiling harder than anyone has ever smiled for a camera in the history of smiles. Her pal was practically the main attraction! She lightly pulled Betty’s skirt, getting her attention to turn around. She pointed at the cheerful imp, “Look! It actually worked! And he looks precious as all heck, I just wanna eat him up!”

Betty nodded, though she was less gushing and more cringing. Oh dear, how could Moe not notice? “Dat’s very nice and all, miss” she muttered into her ear, tension in her voice. “But we might need tuh tell him tuh calm down.”

“Why? He’s having boatloads of fu- ooooooh crap.” Moe’s eyes fixated on the globs of ink falling off her friend, then on his vibrating figure, and then on his crazy, twitching eyes. His extended grin stopped being cute, and began looking unnatural. “Yep, see what you mean, gotcha. Be right back!”

She jumped out of the counter, making her way to her quaking friend, who had just moved away from another table of grinning girls. She grabbed his shoulders, and spun him around to meet his eyes. Oooooooh no, that’s not a good sight. She let out a hysteric cackle: “ahaha! Hey! Buddy! You feeling good there?”

“Golly, do ah!” Bendy exclaimed, raw energy dripping down his mouth like- oh wait, nevermind, that’s ink.

“Good! Good, hey, Bean boy, could you do me a favor?”

“Eh?”

“Could you maybe relax a bit? You’re literally falling apart here…”

“What?! No!” He pulled back, knocking two more chunks from his shoulders. “This is the best ah’ve felt in forevah! Ah can feel their attention rippin ma veins an nerves into tiny lil pieces!”

“Ok, that was a bit aggressive, but no worries! You just need to relaaaax. C’mon Bendy, breathe with me, I don’t want my friend to be a broken pile of body parts on the floor.”

His smile dropped, and he looked at her like she just insulted his own mother. “Ah’m fine! Why are ya suddenly so against this???” He watched her expressions in disbelief, her watch ripping away towards her very soul. Please stop looking at her like that!

“I’m not! I do want to see you happy! You just need a bit of-  **HELP!** ”

The call for help was immediately heard, and the cup brothers ran towards them, Cups picking up the deforming demon, and Mugs taking his notebook.

“We’ll deal with this, please go back to the counter,” Mugs said, “we don’t want you to get in trouble.” She tried to argue, but was quickly pushed the other way. She felt queasy, but if they know what they’re doing, then it’s best she let them deal with it. Didn’t mean that she didn’t feel terrible the entire time.

“Aw shucks, don’t beat yawhself too much about it, it happens pretty often! Okay?” Betty reassured, and Moe nodded. Man, she hated it when she felt gloomy like that… She couldn’t let it take over, she needed to be tough! She will make it up for them. Before she knew it, it was closing time. Patrons left with a hug and a goodbye, and the place was soon left empty. Not a single complaint, not a single glare of horror or disgust, nothing. It was almost scary to think about. Nevermind that, it’s time to clean up the place. Once the job was almost over, Bendy and Cups finally came out, both looking tired, and ready to just go home right then and there. 

“It’s ok,” Mickey spoke before either of them could say a word, “go home, and Get some rest.”

With a nod, Cups leaves, held up by his older brother.

“Hey, what happened?” Moe asked, her worry sickness only increasing by the sight of the tired imp.

“Cups helped me out, no worries! Could ya help me home?”

She looked at Mickey, who gave her silent approval. She held his hand, and they both began their walk home. She took a deep breath.

“Bendy, I’m sorry.”

“Fer what?”

“For not listening. They really had a reason to keep you calm, didn’t they? And I just blew it off,” she stared at the poncho, now a deep brown from the ink that had stained it, “because I wanted all of you to be involved.”

Bendy thought, fiddling with the hem of the ruined poncho. “Well, ya meant well, right? Now ya know not ta do it agin.”

Moe frowned, looking down.  _ Of course, listen to the rules next time; It’s gonna save them a whole lot of trouble _ . Seeing this, Bendy continued:

“Still, Ah’m glad ah was able ta bond with people today. It’s a nice reminder of how much ah like it. In fact, while ah was bein… helped… ah thought about what was goin on, even if it was fer awhile.” He pulled the hem up to his line of sight, finishing his thoughts: “Ah wanna do that agin, interact with people that is. It’s just too much of a nice feelin ta not do it. But fer that, ah gotta learn that not every little moment is a big event, and that ah should treat it like what it deserves ta be: a simple thing in life. They’re not that special, but they’re still special, and ah wanna control maself ta really enjoy them.”

Moe looked at him. Huh, that’s an interesting look on it. A bit paradoxical, if the heavy southern accent mixed you up for a second there, but… if it helps him, then she accepts it.

“Need help with it?”

“Haha, course ah do! Ya saw me back dere, ah’m terrible at controllin maself.”

“Then from now on, I’ll be your partner in crime. We’ll dominate those emotions, and teach them who’s boss! Deal?” She extended her arm towards Bendy, smiling more sincerely. He smiles back, and shakes it firmly;

“Deal! Golly, now ah owe ya two! If ah keep it up, ya’ll have twenty I.O.Us in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.”

“I’ll assume that means quickly. But hey! Maybe I can collect enough to get a house from you by next week.”

“Ah dare ya. Ah double dare ya.”

“Deal.” She gave him a thumbs-up and posed, letting the movie-worthy drama ride up her nerves like a bullet train. Oh boy, she might need a bit more practice when working with toons, but that’s what she’s doing right about now. Nothing a little experience won’t help with.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this fanfic, either ironically or unironically. After Chapter 1, chapters will come out weekly, every Friday (hopefully). have fun laughing.


End file.
